The Strong One Needs Support, Too

She's the strong one.

The one everyone comes to.

The one with the answers.

The one who holds it all together—for her team, her family, her organization.

And she's really good at it.

But here's what I've seen over and over again:

While she's busy being strong for everyone else, her own growth quietly takes a back seat.

Seven years ago, that woman was me.

I was successful. I had built a meaningful career. I was leading others and deeply invested in the growth and well-being of the people around me.

But there was also a quiet pull toward something more.

At the time, I had the opportunity to work with a coach for the first time.

During one of our conversations, she asked me what I really wanted.

I sheepishly told her:

“When I retire, I want to be a yoga teacher.”

She looked at me and asked one simple question:

“Why do you need to wait until you retire?”

I didn't have a good answer.

Sometimes one question is enough.

There wasn't actually anything preventing me from becoming a yoga teacher.

I had simply created a timeline in my head.

Someday.

When I have more time.

When this chapter is finished.

When I retire.

My coach heard something underneath my answer that I hadn't challenged for myself.

And she didn't let me hide behind it.

So I became a certified yoga instructor.

Years before I retired.

And I still teach today.

Something that has brought enormous meaning and joy to my life happened because another person created the space for me to say what I wanted out loud—and then challenged me to take myself seriously.

That's what good coaching can do.

A coach doesn't need to have all the answers for you.

In fact, I don't believe that's the coach's job.

Sometimes the most powerful thing a coach can do is listen closely enough to hear what you are saying beneath the words.

To notice the possibility you are dismissing.

To challenge an assumption you've stopped questioning.

To see the strength or potential you can't quite see in yourself yet.

And then to hold you accountable to what you said matters.

That experience changed more than my relationship with yoga.

It changed my understanding of what it means to help someone grow.

Today, it's at the heart of how I coach.

Who is strong for the strong one?

I've spent much of my life around accomplished women.

They lead.

They solve problems.

They take care of people.

They make things happen.

And because they're so capable, it's easy for everyone—including themselves—to assume they'll figure out their own lives, too.

But being capable doesn't mean you always need to do it alone.

Sometimes the person everyone else turns to needs a place where she doesn't have to have the answers.

A place to think.

A place to be challenged.

A place where someone asks:

“What do you really want?”

And then listens carefully enough to hear the answer.

If you've spent years showing up for everyone else's growth, perhaps it's time to create a little space for your own.

You don't have to navigate what's next alone.